Why is it that everything I touch turns to shit? That is something I've asked myself many times throughout my life, especially lately. Being King Midas of shit isn't such a treat and quite frankly it's starting to get old. All I ever want to do is help people, guide them down the right path, and tell them how to avoid the trials and tribulations that I've had to endure and yet it seems whenever I extend a helping hand I instead present a freakin monkey's paw. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey%27s_paw )I've wrestled for years why this is and at first my conclusion was that I must not understand people which really baffled me because I'm a writer and being a writer you need to understand people. But recently I've come to the epiphany that my curse does not extend from a lack of understanding the human race but from a twisted interpretation of it. I view people almost as a scientist would view a group of lab rats. There's curiosity, predictions, theories, successes, and setbacks. Now one would think this viewpoint would make me even more adept at interpreting and predicting human behavior but alas it does not. Because I view people and life from a standpoint of study I tend to be able to see shit storms before they even happen while as people that view people from a human perspective often can't see what's blatantly in front of them. This I find infuriating. And so many times I have tried to warn my loved ones of imminent doom only to see them take the wrong turn down the rat maze that leads to the cobra instead of the cheese. And I just don't get it. Don't the rats see that no other rat that goes that way ever returns to the cage? And it really blows me away when the rat that actually saw the cobra and escaped last time takes the same damn wrong turn. UGH!
And this is my life in a nutshell. Watching people I care about go the wrong way down the maze to the cobra despite my pleading, despite my threats, depsite my warnings, despite it all. One friend moved in with their ex even though I warned him that it was going to be a disaster of gigantic proportions. One friend decides to date right after a clusterfuck relationship even though I told her that it was critical she take a break. And here's the real kicker. One friend jumped my ass after I chastised her ex for being a complete and total dick to her ( I won't go into details but believe me. He was an absolute monster. Like I think he might be a sociopath.) And somehow throughout all this I am the bad guy. I'm the bad guy for not having faith in my friend that moved in with his ex (by the way that scenario went even worse than I thought it would.) And I'm a bitch for sticking up for my friend somehow because she loves her ex and God forbid anyone say anything bad about him. Well, I dated him a long time ago too and I think I can say whatever I damn well please thank you very much. He is a dick, he deserved to be called a dick, and I'm sorry she's too ignorant to see that. And there we have it. She is the rat who goes to the cobra, more specifically the rat that knows the cobra is there and goes down that path anyways. And finally I come to the conclusion that some rats just need to be eaten. Some rats deserve to be eaten. Now I know that might seem a bit harsh and I probably don't really mean it but frankly I'm just getting exhausted with people not heeding good advice and common sense. Now, I've made some very, very bad decisions in my past and have commited some truly hair brained acts. But in my eyes that's only more reason to listen to me. I've been there, done that. I've had the 7 year relationship. I've experienced a love so strong I was willing to leave family and country for the douchebag. And yet people just seem to ignore my advice. I mean, what is the point of making mistakes and suffering if not to serve as a warning to others. And yet people seem to cling to the belief that we all have to make the mistakes and learn from them ourselves which I think frankly is bullshit. If you see someone jump down a volcano and meet a firey death to lava you don't think to yourself, "Well, I need to experience that mistake for myself." And jump down there yourself. You're suppose to go, "Holy shit! Ed just melted! Fuck me! Note to self, stay away from volcanos." And yet people insist on lining up one after the other to jump down the volcano or to say howdy to the cobra. Baffles the shit out of me. After making a few awful mistakes I learned to listen to others. When my mom told me to save my pride and end it with Boyfriend #3 I did even though I loved him dearly. I knew he was no good for me and knew that my mom had been in the same situation when she was young and who better to listen to? And when my friends told me that the guy I was dating was a flirt and potential cheater I STOPPED dating him. Yet another example happened just a day or two ago. I was up in the air about what to do about a certain guy I've liked for two years and got a man's perspective on the situation and he told me the guy was just stringing me along and I should just bail. Guess what? I took his advice!!!!!!! I am grateful for advice. Open to advice. And the vast majority of the time I take the advice. But when I try to give people the advice I'd want to be given they spit in my eye.
I suppose one would say I just need to learn to mind my own business and maybe I should. It's just I've always felt that one should do unto others what they would want done unto them. But I guess not everyone is like me and I need to just accept that fact as frustrating as it may be. I mean, if I truly am a scientist studying lab rats I need to just let rats do what rats do and hope and pray for the rat's sake they don't go towards the cobra and if they do...well, natural selection. So, I say unto you my little white, fluffy rat friends: "You're on your own."
