Unconditional Love

Unconditional love...hmmm...unconditional love. It's talked about a lot but does it really exist? I mean, what is unconditional love to begin with? If we just look at the words it's a love without conditions. Sounds nice. But don't we all journey through life with conditions and choose to only love those who meet those conditions? And if that's so then I guess unconditional love is a load of hooey. *Hiss. Blah. Peh. Pish. Hmph.* <---- The usual bitter aura of the conclusions I come to. But then I stopped and thought on the matter a little further. Surely everyone who we love will at least once disappoint, hurt, and/or betray us someday thus breaking one or many of our "conditions" and what then do we do? Well, sometimes we hate them and other times...we still love them. And I guess that's where the unconditional love thing comes in. It's rare and an almost impossible thing to earn, especially outside of the bonds of family, but it does happen.

I'm baffled by this "unconditional love". It does not know logic, pattern, method, or reason. It just is. And my God, it's AMAZING! Every time I am presented with undeniable proof that I have an unconditional love for someone I am completely floored by its strength, its beauty, and its ability to know no bounds. How is it that someone can slight me with something trivial and I can never want to see them again and then have someone else do something that by all logical standards should be deemed unforgiveable yet not only can I forgive them but I can still love them. And I'm not referring just to the love one has for a significant other but the love one can have for a friend as well. To stop loving them isn't really even an option. A person who has earned your unconditional love can inflict an insurmountable amount of pain on you and yet even as they hurt you...it's like you forgave them the moment they did it. You still cry over it and perhaps for healthy and logical reasons the relationship cannot continue but...you still love them. You keep waiting for the hate and disgust to manifest but it doesn't. So, you tell yourself that you're in shock and that you just haven't accepted it yet. But time passes and...you realize that you forgive them and that they have indeed earned that unconditional love.

I know some might not understand the conclusion I've come to from my own experiences and witnessing other's. They might post the query, "But if you unconditionally love someone then wouldn't you still continue a relationship?" But unfortunately love, though it is many wonderful things, is not simple. In fact, it's very complicated and sometimes the greatest thing one can do for someone they love is to walk away and let them live their life to the fullest and happiest degree they can. And letting someone do that, letting someone you love go cause it's the right thing to do...well, I don't think there is a greater demonstration of unconditional love out there.

Vengeance is Mine...Or Not

(This is a human interest piece that I had to write to promote a one act play of mine that is having a reading done at the Bloomington Playwrights Project.)

Every play I have ever written can be attributed to a moment when I was angry with someone or something. Though I have always found great joy in writing for the sheer amusement of it, writing has always been a therapeutic outlet for me as well. One of my favorite film quotes is, “I will eviscerate you in fiction.” Yes. When I write a play it is usually the equivalent to me throwing a spear at someone. Or at least that’s how it started out until I wrote my one act play Russ Miles. I’ll admit it. When I wrote this play it was an artistic attempt to expose a certain individual for the low-down monster that he is. It took me about a month to write the first draft of this one act and when it was complete I was immensely satisfied with my spear throwing. Then came the moment where the University Players at Indiana University wished to do a staged reading of the play. Excellent I thought. Now there can be witnesses to my spear throwing and revenge shall be mine. Imagine my surprise then when I found the audience laughing at my dramatic play (but in a good way.) And what good way was that? They were laughing at how pathetic the main character Russ was. This individual was so horrible, so disturbed that he warranted public mockery. Oh, yes. Revenge was sweet…until the end of the play. Russ eventually puts the final nail in his coffin and at that moment people at the reading stopped laughing and could only watch on in horror and pity. And that’s when it hit me. That’s when my motives for writing plays changed forever. I was able to see this “monster” through my audience’s eyes and what I saw was someone that was so lost, so miserable that he did not deserve my hate, mockery, or fictional annihilation but only my pity. As I watched this man’s descent into his own personal Hell I couldn’t help but be reminded of Deuteronomy 32:35 “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Sounds a bit melodramatic, I know but it helped me let go. I realized that there is no point in harboring anger, there is no point in seeking vengeance. Give a bad person enough rope and they’ll hang themselves. It’s inevitable. All someone can do is forgive and get away from that person.

I still am inspired by anger and injustice but my goal is now different. Instead of seeking revenge I now seek forgiveness. By writing the person or the scenario that upset me I am able to see things from a different perspective and therefore accept, forgive, and move on because harboring resentment is no way to live.