What a title, eh? Don't ya just love Chekhov? Yeah. Me neither. But it is a good line I must admit and as emo as it is, sometimes it is necessary to be in mourning for what has transpired in our lives. People are all too often eager to bypass any type of mourning or period of reflection that may cause them sadness. And that is a natural and understandable desire. However, it is also an unwise course of action. Running from our past is no way to live. Trying to forget heartaches is futile. That's not to say one should just wallow in their misery but they do need to take a moment to think on where they've been, where they are, and where they are going.
I love analogies. I'm very Jesus that way. Therefore, allow me to paint you a clearer picture of what I am talking about. Heartache is like a bunch of shit scattered throughout the house. (I'm a cussing Jesus by the way.) Some of the junk you need to throw out, some of it you need to just find a place for. But as you look about the house you are bewildered with even the thought of this task, much less the actual act of carrying it out. So, you think to yourself, "Why go through the hassle of organizing this stuff when I can just shove it in the closet?" Sounds like a good idea, right? So you shove the junk in the closet and you look about your nice, clean house and go, "Ahhhh. Lovely." Then a few months pass and before you know it the house is a wreck AGAIN! So, what do you do? You shove that shit into the closet too. And you keep doing this until finally it becomes harder and harder to shove stuff in there. Before you know it that closet door is looking like it's about to burst open any minute. And then finally it does. And you've got a big pile of shit in the hallway that you are now FORCED to sort through whether you like it or not, whether you're ready to or not. Moral of the story- when the house is dirty, clean it properly. Don't just hide the clutter away. Likewise, when you're in pain don't try to ignore the heartache. You've just got to grow a pair and sort through the bullshit. It sucks but there it is.
Now I write a lot of rants and raves and some of them are from personal experience and others are from events I've witnessed in the lives of others. This particular essay though I must confess is from personal experience. In the past year I have gone through some romantic disappointments and rather than sit my ass down and grieve like I should have I proceeded to jump from one relationship to another cause you can't cry over an ex if you're crazy about your current boyfriend now, can you? But eventually there will come a time where you will have to be alone with your thoughts and that's when the shit will hit the fan, folks! Just like the person who has a year's worth of junk cascading out of the closet, you now have a series of old relationship heartbreaks to get over. Congrats, Rebound Rita! You get to cry over a series of boyfriends all at once! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! As I described it to my friend Amelia.....
Boyfriend X uppercut me and sent me sprawling onto the ground. Boyfriend Y then proceeded to walk over and stomp on me. Then Boyfriend Z thought it in good taste to walk by, stop, look down at me, spit on me, then go on his merry way. And there I am in the dirt beaten, bruised, and weeping with a loogie glistening on my tear-stained face. Oh, joy.
Amelia disagreed, however. Her version of events is thus...
Boyfriend X shoves me out of our cozy tree house and after hitting every wrathful branch on the way down I am nothing but a crumpled mass in the dirt. Then Boyfriend Y approaches me, helps me up, and leads me to his car under the pretense of whisking me away to safety. But wait! Just as he opens the door to usher me into the car he pushes me into the road, jumps into the car, and drives over me. As Boyfriend Y speeds away into the sunset cackling maniacally Boyfriend Z walks by, stops, looks down at me, spits, then goes on his merry may. And there I am in the dirt, bruised, covered in tire tracks, and weeping with a loogie glistening on my tear-stained face.
Whatever version, it's not a pretty picture. Both leave me having to get over a series of consecutive injuries all at once...and a loogie on my face. Gross.
Now I am not doing a sob story here. If anything this is a story of caution and hope. Caution: Do not do the rebound thing. Hope: You'll get over it. I know there might be someone out there reading this who is going through a heartbreak and flinging them self on the bed right now going, "I'll never get over them! NEVER! NEVER! EVER!" And if I was there right now I'd pat you on your silly, melodramatic head and go, "There, there, dumbass. You will." How do I know? Because I've been there and I'm getting over it. I had a boyfriend once who did some shady stuff while I was with him and I remember not being able to sleep because I was so afraid that he had slept with this one girl. I would get sick to my stomach, cry and just basically obsess over the idea of him and this other female. Needless to say we broke up. Recently this guy has entered my life after several years, apologized and offered to come clean about anything I wish to know. And you know what? This girl who would lose sleep, get sick, obsess over this guy's possible betrayals didn't give a damn to ask. That's not to say I don't wish this person the best but I am over the heartbreak and could care less whether he cheated or not. Don't scoff! One day you won't give a damn either. You might even find yourself being happy for your ex. Yeah. Weird, huh? But it's the truth. Just a few days ago I witnessed one of my exes with his girlfriend and couldn't help but genuinely smile and go, "Awww. They're a sweet couple." I know! WTF! But I have found that time heals all wounds, that it's silly to harbor anger, and forgiveness is a key ingredient to a......Happiness Cake......um.....yeah...So, my weepy boys and girls go ahead and have your cry, learn your lessons, forgive, and you will be able to let go. I promise. Believe me, if I wasn't speaking the truth I so would have been featured on an episode of Snapped by now. *Knock on wood*
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